REMISSION!!!

That's right I'm in remission! The chemo worked!!!

I called for my PET/CT results this morning and was told "it looks good" by Dr. Malone's PA...so I asked..."does that mean I'm not glowing(the cancer spots glow in the PET)?"....and he said "Ya, you are in remission but you still need to see Dr. Gilroy (the radiation dr.)"

I knew I was still going to need radiation even if I showed no sign of cancer because studies have shown that the cancer will come back and to the exact same places if you don't get the full treatment so.....I will still get to be stuck in the mask everyday for probably four weeks but it's worth it!

I'm still in shock as I'm writing this post - God has been so good to me - I have been so blessed these past few months! I know it's not over yet and I'm still dealing with some side effects from chemo but it amazes me every day how God has used so many people to help and be a part of this journey--not only to me but to my family also.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers!

Bekah's pumpkin adventure

Hi, I'm Bekah and I am beautiful. This year my parents took me on a family outing to this giant white tent. The park would have been way better. The people who work there look scary. And it was hot, and dirty, and no other kids were there to play with. But Momma and Dadda were excited to pick out a pumpkin. I wore my pretty pink sunglasses and clips and I looked really adorable, as always. Dad grabbed a red wagon to pull me, but he was doing it all wrong so I got out and told him "I do iiit!" Then they made me walk around the dusty tent and look at sooo many orange pumpkins. "Do you like that one? Which one do you want?" They kept asking questions. And then in between Mom would make me look up at her and say cheese. But I just wanted to run around the tent, and then maybe go in the bouncy house and hay maze. Momma and Dadda said no because we were going to go to Carl's Junior. Finally Momma helped me pick a perfect pumpkin, but Dadda took forever finding his. Sadie and Momma will just share ours, I guess. Then Dadda paid the scary toothless woman for our pumpkin treasures and I once again showed him how to pull the wagon to the car. He needs help a lot.
Then we went to Carl's Junior and ate chicken strips. I stole Momma's fries a lot. Dadda showed me how to play on the playground, and Momma sat with Sadie while she slept. Then I met a new friend, but she had to go. I was sad, and then a bee attacked Dadda's nachos and we decided to go too.
Tonight, Uncle Joshy, Dadda, Momma and I made faces on our pumpkins. At first I was a little confused so I just colored all over mine with every different color. My art skills are impressive, I thought to myself. Then Momma helped me cut a hole in the top. Dadda reached down and grabbed the orange goo, and I yelled, "Naaasstyyyy!!" Joshy held a whole bunch of the goo in his fingers and I actually touched it!! I said nasty like 5 more times. Luckily Momma showed me how to scrape out the inside with a spoon without getting any on your fingers. Once all the pumpkin guts were out...we got tired so we made Dadda finish...I let Momma help me carve out two square eyes, one little nose, and one big smiley mouth. Then we took them outside, turned off all the lights, and put fire inside them. They glowed, one spooky, one silly, and one little happy one (mine). I laughed and twirled around on the dark grass until Dadda took me in for bathtime. Pumpkins are fun, I guess, even though they're nasty. And Momma and Dadda had so much fun tonight, which is what made my pumpkin adventure totally worth it. Check out these pictures! And don't forget my birthday is in four days!!

I have two tatoos!

Well, it's Wednesday and I don't have Chemo. to go to!

On Monday I went to Dr. Gilroy's office and had the mask that I will have to wear during radiation made. It was a very weird experience! I had to lay on a very hard table with my neck on a piece of arched plastic that forced my chin to point towards the ceiling while the radiology technician pulled a warm/wet piece of plastic down over my face and clipped in onto the table. At first it felt kinda like a facial because she ran her hands all over my face molding the warm plastic but once it started to dry it was less comfortable. The plastic has holes all over it so I can breath and see a little (imagine wiffle ball material with smaller holes) but the fact that I'm clipped onto the table is a little freaky.

After my mask had completely dried on my face I was given two tatoos! (they are real but just small dots...kinda like a black head) They placed two on my chest as a guide to where my body needs to be while I'm on the table during the radiation. At this point my head is clipped under this "wiffle ball" mask, I'm laying on a hard table with my entire chest exposed for the tatooing... my eyes are closed but I can still see the flashes from the camera (they had to take pictures of the exact position I was in - I was trying to imagine myself in a happy place :).

So, yesterday I got to wear my mask again during my PET/CT scan...not fun! The test takes about 1/2 hour and I had to wear the mask for most of it but first I had to sit alone in a room for an hour waiting for the radioative sugar to work...couldn't even read my book - I was told to relax. I hadn't eaten since dinner the day before and had to drink a yucky drink so my stomach wasn't feeling that great. When I was taken to get the scan done I was once again laying on a hard table and I was clipped into my mask with the plastic piece behind my neck...it started feeling like a torture device. Then to make the whole experience worse they gave me IV contrast -it makes your whole body really warm and flushed and gives you the sensation that you are wetting yourself! I'm not looking forward to doing it again but it's necessary to see where the cancer still is.

After the test was done...around 11:30am, I got to escape to Santa Barbara with my girlfriend Kim to see our girlfriend Jen for a few hours (since I was radioactive I couldn't be around the girls and was able to leave without feeling guilty!). We had lunch and went to my favorite store in SB-Anthropology! Knowing I had something fun to do after the test helped get me through...Kim and I also picked up a mocha and bagel at my favorite coffee shop in town-The Nautical Bean-it was so yummy!

I should get a call next week from Dr. Gilroy's office with an appointment for my first treatment so I probably won't start until the second week of November...I'll keep you updated and I also have some pictures to download so hopefully I can get that done soon!

Last Chemo!

I'm so very excited! Today is my last chemo. treatment!

I go in at 2:30 this afternoon to have my weekly appointment with Dr. Malone and then I'm off to get my chemo. and to have my PICC line removed. I'm a little nervous about getting the line taken out, although it will be nice to not have to wrap my arm in saran wrap every morning before I get in the shower. It's over a foot long and goes up my arm and ends near my heart - I've heard it doesn't hurt when it's removed so I hope that's the case. I also hope that I get to stop taking all the oral medications that go along with the chemo. - I want to be drug free!!! :)

On Monday I go back to see Dr. Gilroy (he's the radiation dr.) to have a mask made for my treatments - I guess they make a mask so that my head stays in certain positions while they radiate my neck and chest. Then on Tuesday I get another PET/CT done to find out where the cancer still is and Dr. Gilroy's office will use that scan to determine my specific plan (where and how deep to radiate). It sounds like I will have 4 weeks of treatment, 5 days a week starting the first week of November. It's going to be kinda a pain having to go everyday but the side effects aren't as severe as chemo. The most common side effects are fatigue, skin irritation (just at the site area) and esophageal pain (towards the end). He said I may lose weight since my esophagus will probably start to hurt when I swallow but I'm ok with that.....I'll just think of it as my post. preggo weight loss plan :).

I'm looking forward to this next step - each day that passes means I'm that much closer to the finish line!

Chemo #7

I just had my second dose of Chemo for the week yesterday - it really wiped me out last night but I slept really well :). I also got to hang out with my girlfriend Jen Clark all day yesterday! We did errands with the girls in the morning...including going to the library and then she went with me to my chemo. appointment. The last few weeks I've been going alone so it was fun to have some company....then we swung my Country Culture and got some of my favorite yogurt....Berry Berry...it was so good! Oh...and I sported my buzz cut yesterday (no scarf or hat) since it was so hot and nobody looked at my funny - I was pretty proud of myself :).

So, when we got home Bekah was playing in her little blue kiddie pool and sprinklers out front and Jen and I spent a little time watching and playing with her until I ran out of energy and Sadie woke up from her nap. I also get to give myself those lovely shots for the next 4 days so they should make me feel better and later this morning I have my first appointment with my radiation dr. so I'm excited to see what this next part of treatment looks like.

In other news...Keith's birthday is on Sunday...he's turning the big 25! We are having a little party for him tomorrow and his parents are coming into town for the day to help celebrate so I'm hoping to have enough energy to share in the birthday fun!

Have a great weekend!

Lint Brush

The other night I was sitting watching TV running my hand over my buzzed head in attempt to get rid of all the loose hair before going to bed....I don't like to shed on my pillow.... Anyways I came up with a new invention. A Lint Brush! It has the word 'brush' in the title so it could be used for hair right? :). So - I grabbed my brush, sat in the comfy blue chair and watched my TV show while I got my head ready for bed! And when the sticky part got covered with hair I'd just pulled off the top sheet and keep going...it works great, I highly recommend it!!!

Here are some other fun pictures for your enjoyment!

I found Bekah's cute brown had this Saturday and had to get it...I got one for Sadie too :)

Crista did a great job chopping my hair and then finishing it off with the hair clippers

As you can see Bekah enjoyed the show by lounging in her bear chair eating Lucky Charms!

My sweet Sadie girl taking a nap...I'm shocked she's not sucking her thumb - I guess she's giving it time to air out :)

Such good friends...Caedra and Bekah are enjoying pops after playing in the pool and having tea party snacks.

Going Numb

My fingers tips are going numb...grrr! They started getting sensitive the other day and this morning when I was rinsing dishes under warm water they started to hurt. I knew this was a potential side effect and I'm glad it hasn't effected my toes yet but it's still kinda frustrating.

Other news...Keith got home safe from being down south for a wedding this weekend and is already off this morning to get things done for school. Sadie rolled over from her tummy to her back the other day on accident (I missed it but my mom saw her do it) and she loves sucking her thumb! And Bekah...well she's busy as usual. She loves to color, dance, run around outside, help burp Sadie and is still talking up a storm! I have two days of chemo. this week but I get to start tapering off of the prednisone...Yay! and I haven't forgotten about posting a picture of my hair - I need Keith to download it onto the computer...I always forget how to do it :).

My New Look

So I finally did it and I'm calling my new look....

Post Prego GI Jane
meaning - my hair looks like GI Jane but my body looks like I had a baby 3 months ago. I went in for my chemo #6 yesterday and also had an appointment with my dr. I asked him if he thought I would be able to make it through my whole chemo. treatment without loosing to much more hair since it had already thinned a lot. He told me that the chemo. I was going to be getting in the next two weeks would finish off my hair and it's already dead and dry. I said "so I guess it's time to buzz it" and his response was "you could always give yourself a mowhawk for a day before you shave it!" That made me laugh and although I didn't take his suggestion I am kinda relieved to have it gone. It was getting tedious having so much hair constantly ready to fall out and I didn't want to get to the point of it falling out in chunks.

Yesterday my sister Crista shaved it while Bekah watched. I gave her some lucky charms (a very special treat) and had her sit in her bear chair while I talked about how fun it was that I was getting a new haricut. She didn't want to feel it at first but by bedtime she was asking to "tooch it". She would tenderly graze my head with one finger and then do her wiggle dance with a huge smile on her face because it felt funny :). Sadie doesn't seem to notice and Keith seems to be getting "used" to it as well. He kissed my head before leaving for school this morning and I'm taking that as a good sign.

I'll post some pictures soon :).

Some Fun Pictures!

Bekah and Sadie lounging on the floor together before bedtime.

Early Saturday morning Bekah wanted to watch the rain from the porch in her bear chair. My mom and I were out with her drinking our coffee while she had her juice.

Bekah riding her horse in her new red boots before Church.

Sadie and Bekah enjoying time with Auntie Katie. (Bekah is digging for gold in her boots...she's such a cowgirl :)

Sister time is so precious...especially when it's spent in similar dresses.

A New Friend

This picture was taken a few weeks ago when Olivia, Tommy and their daughter Aria were visiting. Bekah loved playing with Aria and talked about her for for days after the play date.....saying...."Are?" (where is my friend Aria?) and "ByeBye" (Aria went bye bye) and "NighNigh" (good night Aria).

Olivia and I have been good friends since high school and it was so nice seeing her and her little girl....and Tommy too :).

Chemo: Dose 5

Well I'm over half way done with chemo. and then comes radiation. I had my 5th dose on Wednesday afternoon and I'm feeling pretty tired today and kinda achy but that's totally normal. The nausea hasn't been too bad and I have pills that help. Keith is at school right now and Bekah is coloring while Sadie sleeps. Life is moving right along and the weather is finally changing! I can't wait for the first rain...Keith tells me it might even be this Saturday :).